Why is it so hard for women to say what we really feel or ask for what we want from the men in our lives?
On the other hand, we are great at sharing the most intimate details and thoughts with our girlfriends. And men…well, they can happily sit around talking a lot and saying nothing. They can also be very blunt. Or at least, that’s what we mujeres feel.
Let’s see if we can figure some of this out:
Women tend to be passive-aggressive.
As women, we manipulate, or at least try to manipulate men into doing what we want them to. We expect them to be mind readers, which unfortunately, they are not. Many of us beat around the bush because we fear coming across as needy or dependent. Historically, women were brought up to be submissive rather than assertive, so passive-aggressiveness has usually been our way of trying to get our way without appearing pushy. But this baffles guys!
Men tend to avoid confrontation.
Men, although traditionally raised to be more assertive and aggressive, usually go out of their way to avoid confrontation with women. It’s difficult for most men to express their feelings and few are eager to have lengthy discussions about their relationships, their needs (or even their fears), with their better half.
In order to shed some light on what we really mean when we say certain things: here’s a quick cheat-sheet of some common phrases or questions uttered by both sexes, and what they really mean.
6 THINGS WOMEN SAY AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN
Don’t worry, I’m fine.
Translation: I’m not fine and I would like you to ask me what’s wrong, insist wholeheartedly that we discuss it while you hold my hand, look me in the eye and give me your undivided attention.
Do whatever you want.
Translation: Why can’t you just realize that I don’t approve of what you are going to do? I’d rather tell you to do whatever you want, but be ready to deal with my wrath later.
Do you love me?
Translation: I feel unloved, vulnerable and insecure. I need you to express your love for me right now.
Don’t worry; I’ll take care of it.
Translation: I really wish you would take care of it without me having to ask.
I’m just not in the mood (for sex).
Translation: Something else is bugging me, and I want you to ask me to talk about it. Or, I’m angry at you for something you did earlier. Or, I just want to cuddle.
Do I look fat?
Translation: I’m feeling fat and unattractive, so tell me I look great, that I’m beautiful and you have eyes for no other woman.
6 THINGS MEN SAY AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN
Are you sure you’re okay?
Translation: I want you to tell me you’re fine and mean it.
It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: Of course it’s you! But I don’t want to hurt you and I’m certainly not going to have an argument about it.
Are you sure you want me to go with you?
Translation: I would rather do something else but I want you to be the one to tell me not to go!
Don’t worry; I’ll take care of it.
Translation: Don’t worry, I´ll take care of it. I’m your guy and I want you to be happy.
I’m too tired (for sex).
Translation: I really am tired and stressed out. I hope you understand.
No, you don’t look fat.
Translation: I know you want me to say you don’t look fat, so that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Of course, not all men and women are cut out the same way. Some men are passive-aggressive and certain women avoid confrontation to spare their guys’ feelings. But if only we could reach a middle ground! We could start getting rid of these communication clichés, and have the courage to speak honestly about what we want and feel—tactfully, of course!
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