My body’s transformation was only the beginning, only a hint of the roller coaster ride I (and every other mother) embarked on when I decided to have children. Now looking back, I realize what a trip it has been. I squeezed two kids out and never knew so much pain. When I saw their little smooshed faces, I never knew so much joy. I was excited to quit my job to spend more time with them. I was depressed after quitting my job and spending days in sweat suits. I built an endless number of sand castles at the park and resented my mind going to mush. I savored the beauty of a clear and cool lazy afternoon at the park and allowed myself to feel soft. I fantasized about going back to work. I dreaded the idea of going back to work. I have driven my husband crazy ripping out the lawn and re-landscaping because I had to find a project. I have cooked delicious, labor intensive meals he relished because I had to find a project. I have adored my kids. I have wanted to strangle my kids. And on it goes.
