The St. Patrick´s I Knew I Was Pregnant-MainPhoto

It is number five in a series called This Stage of Motherhood, done by a famous New York photographer that—to my horror and (strangely) pride—hung in a New York gallery and is now part of her coveted collection of work. In it, I stretch my bare leg out and stare dreamily at the hot pink nine-inch heels on my feet, completely oblivious to the fact that the photographer, Gail Albert Halaban, is taking the shot with what seems like a wide-angle lens and is coming at me from below, widening my already considerable girth to an unbelievable size. I am the female version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow man—actually worse, an Eddie Murphy character.