I remember when I was in my late 20s, and the boyfriend I thought I was going to marry broke up with me. I was devastated and I remember crying to a friend, “I wish I were younger.” At not yet 30, I was already worried about slipping past my “prime” dating years. Then, in my 30s, I told myself that I had to be married and have kids by 40. Now that I’m in my 40s and married with children, I appreciate the frustrations of my single or divorced friends who face the brave new world of dating in their 40s. But the good news is women in their 40s actually have a lot going for them in the realm of dating and romance!
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LoveAgain.com, the online dating site for mature singles, conducted a survey of 2,000 women aged 40 and over, and asked them how they felt about themselves and how they approached dating differently than they might have in previous decades. It turns out that the confidence that comes with age and experience, and maybe the battle scars of past relationships have left them better prepared to for the adventure of dating after 40.
The survey found plenty of advantages for single women over 40, including:
They know what they want. They know themselves better than they did in their 20s and even their 30s, and they are clearer about their relationship goals. That means they’re less willing to settle, and they get out faster if a relationship doesn’t seem promising.
They’ve learned from past mistakes. Whether they’re divorced or never married, the majority of women in their 40s have had one or more long term relationship that didn’t work out. They’ve learn to spot red flags early on, and they have a much better idea of what they want and need in a partner.
It’s not necessarily about marriage and kids. Many women over 40s have already been married and have kids. So not having marriage and children as a goal takes a lot of pressure off when dating. They can focus on finding a compatible mate, perhaps with whom to raise a blended family, married or not.
They’re financially stable. Women in their 40s have careers, mortgages and credit ratings all their own. This means they’re less dependent on a man to take care of them, and can focus on finding a compatible partner—and not necessarily a good provider.
They’re comfortable in their own skin. 67 percent of the women surveyed said say they’re more confident and comfortable with their appearance than they were in their 20s. This self-acceptance is liberating and makes them more at ease on dates—an “accept me as I am” attitude!
They’re better in bed! Self-confidence with the lights on extends to lights-out time! A whopping 93 percent of respondents believe they’re better in bed in their 40s than they were in past decades. In fact, they’re more willing to do it with the lights on!
So, it seems there are all sorts of reasons for my single friends in their 40s to be optimistic about the dating scene. They’re wiser, more confident and more content than they were a decade or two ago—and an all-around great package!