No friendship is made of Teflon, and there’s plenty of bad behavior you can exhibit to drive even a best friend far, far away. Assuming you want to avoid this outcome, here are seven surefire ways to lose a friend—don’t be guilty of even one of them!
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Blow off your dates. Don’t be the friend who always cancels on dinner, drinks or a gym date because “something came up.” It’s rude, and it makes it seem like her friendship is not important to you.
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Make it all about you. Do late night calls and gab sessions with your friend inevitably involve you talking about your problems and ignoring hers? Stop making it all about you—you need to give and take in equal proportions to make a friendship work.
Read Related: When to Break Up with Your Soul-Sucking Friend
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Refuse to grow up. Times have changed since high school or college, and so have your lives. And while it’s fun to reminisce about the good old days, don’t stay stuck in the past with your behavior, style of dress or shirking of responsibilities. Your friend will move on without you.
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Be miserable. A true friend will respect and support you if you struggle with depression, or if you’re just going through a tough time. But when you are a habitual downer, you’re just no fun to be around. Everyone has problems. If you need to, seek professional help in managing yours, and let your friend know you’re really trying to feel better and be better company.
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Be too critical. Maybe you’re the confident, beautiful, outspoken one, and your friend is more timid and less sure of her looks or abilities. Build her up, don’t tear her down. If she needs to shape up, invite her to start working out with you. Tactfully offer to spruce up her résumé, or schedule a shopping date and point her towards the right clothes racks. But don’t make her feel worse about herself by constantly picking on her appearance or her life choices.
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Be competitive. If you’re the type of person who needs to have the more expensive handbag, the better job or the happier relationship in order to feel good about yourself, chances are your friend is rolling her eyes at you behind your back. Competition is tiresome and unnecessary in friendships, and it drives friends away. And then, what have you won?
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Sleep with her husband/boyfriend. This sort of goes without saying, but we’ll say it anyway. Perhaps close proximity to a friend’s mate finds you both tempted but ask yourself, is it worth it? A guy who would sleep with his wife or girlfriend’s best friend is a dirt bag anyway, and you’ll have sacrificed a close friendship (and most likely ruined a marriage) for some momentary passion. Dumb, and worse yet, mean.
Friendship is like a bank account. You need to make deposits if you’re going to take withdrawals. Withdraw too much and you’ve got an empty bank account and one less friend. So invest in your friendships and reap the dividends!
