If having big, fat, full hair seems like an impossible dream, if your locks are looking as limp, flat, and droopy as over-boiled capellini (the pasta whose name literally means “thin hair”), I’ve got the solution to change your waning world.

Think it takes a rocket scientist to figure this out? Actually, it took a whole team of MIT scientists and medical doctors to create Living proof.®, a brainy, methodical, technologically sophisticated system of hair care products that will blow you and your wimpy wisps away. Even in the wind. Even after you take off your beanie. Even after a roll in the hay. Even two days later, after you’ve used other hair care products.

It’s insane.

Discovered by Living proof. scientists, the flexible molecule in the formula creates thousands of microscopic thickening points on each strand, which increase texture and keep hairs from lying flat on top of each other. It’s all about creating texture, in other words. Now I’m going to have to leave the BF and move to Cambridge, Massachusetts, to marry one of those Ivy League Living proof guys so I can get all this stuff for free forever.

Read Related: Top Hair Care Products For Fine Hair

Here’s the full lineup, in the sequence it’s meant to be used:

Full Shampoo ($10-$59)
Zero sulfates, smells like heaven—if heaven smells like freshly cut lemons and sweet cream. You can actually feel your hair thickening up as you lather!

Full Conditioner ($10-$59)
Oil- and silicone-free, it detangles and conditions without weighing hair down. Same lovely fragrance.

Full Root Lifting Spray ($26)
While hair’s still damp, spray  5-10 pumps directly into your crown’s roots. Work it in with your fingertips. Remember, this is what gives height. For all-over bounce and volume you have to use one, or preferably both, of the following:

Full Thickening Mousse ($15-$26)
Shake the can, turn it upside down, and press out an egg-sized amount of this lovely stuff. Rub it between your hands and evenly distribute it throughout the length of your hair with fingers or a wide-toothed comb.

Full Thickening Cream ($26)
Squeeze a dime-sized amount into your palms—don’t use more; this is concentrated—warm it up, and spread all through your hair. Along with the Mousse, this is the final step that creates more hair than you’ve ever before seen on your head—with no flakiness, no crunch, no weirdness. Just gorgeous, touchable hair that can break a hairbrush.
Blow-dry as usual for enviable, maximum, here-I-come fullness, or go au naturel for a messier, relaxed, beachy look.

Either way, you’ll want to move to Cambridge too.