The “Real Housewives” series of reality TV programs on Bravo are popular for a number of reasons. Maybe like a train wreck we can’t take our eyes off, the lives of these feisty, frustrated housewives make most of the rest of ours look pretty boring by comparison. The affairs, the divorces, the plastic surgeries, the financial rises and falls. And the fights, oh the fights. So if you’ve ever wondered where you’d fit into one of these suburban dramas, we’re here to help! Here’s our quick guide to helping you decide which Real Housewife you are!
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Are you a straight-talking former stripper, who has divorced and remarried your husband and guest-starred on Glee? Did you once say to your frenemy and former housewife costar, “Close your legs to married men!” Then you may be Real Housewife of Atlanta NeNe Leakes, the only one of the original Atlanta housewives to remain on the show. Yup, you’re a survivor.
Read Related: “Facts of Life” vs. “Real Housewives”: When Females on TV Supported Each Other
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Do you like to fight—like really fight—with your frenemies, as in flipping dinner tables, finger in their face, shoving and name-calling kinda fighting? Have you and your husband recently been indicted for conspiracy to commit mail fraud, wire fraud, bank fraud, bankruptcy fraud and falsifying loan applications? Then you must be Teresa Giudice, the last woman standing of the original Real Housewives of New Jersey. We think you scared all the other ones off.
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Are you voraciously ambitious, attention-loving, twice divorced mother and entrepreneur whose every move has been chronicled (at your request) over the last five years? Then you may be former Real Housewife of New York City Bethenny Frankel. Although you were not married when you debuted on Housewives, you quickly became a stand-out star on the show, and your engagement, marriage, birth of your daughter and subsequent divorce have all been chronicled on reality TV. Oh, and you’re also a cookbook and natural foods author.
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Are you a wig designer, wannabe singer and mother of 6 with an addiction to dating married men? Then you may be former Real Housewife of Atlanta Kim Zolciak. Her music career went bust when a music producer likened her singing to “a beautiful house with a crack in the foundation.” You married Atlanta Falcon player Kroy Biermann in 2011 shortly before you left the show, and are presumably no longer dating your married sugar daddy, Big Poppa.
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Have you publicly feuded on Twitter with your ex-husband’s new wife—the one he left you for? Have you disclosed highly personal information about your cast mates, all the while with a drink in your hand? Then you may be Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Brandi Granville, former wife of TV actor Eddie Cibrian and arch nemesis of his new gal, LeAnne Rimes. You’ve only been on Real Housewives for two years, but you’ve definitely made your presence known.
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Are you way overprotective of your kids, to the point that one of them ran away and eloped, and are you threatened by women who are younger and prettier than you? Do you like to pit one cast member against another and criticize them all? Then you may be the now-divorced Vicki Gunvalson, the only original housewife from the original program, Real Housewives of Orange County, which launched multiple spin-offs. You may be a survivor, but there’s not much to like about your catty, boastful manner.
Who’s your favorite Real Housewife, and why? Tell us in Comments, below!
