On dealing with guilt
“Many women feel that they have not done their job if they do not keep their elder alive and at home as long as possible. They won’t consider outside help because they believe it is inferior to what they can provide or because they don’t want a stranger in their home. They will be martyrs and not ask or demand help from the rest of the family. I tell them that they cannot define the quality of their relationship by how much they suffer to keep that older adult comfortable.”
