Mommy dating can be hard! Here are some ice breakers to make other mom friends!
When you get married, you leave some of your single friends behind simply because you find yourself having little in common with them. When you have children, the gap between the have-kids and have-nots grows even greater, and you may suddenly find yourself without any girlfriends. No mami deserves to feel isolated and alone and we all need fellow mothers to lean on from time to time. Here’s my experience in mommy dating and how I find and make friends with other moms.
LOOK TO YOUR PAST Here’s where social media is brilliant. If you live near where you grew up, check in with friends from high school or college. Do they have kids? It doesn’t so much matter the age as long as they’re within five years or so of one another. Reach out to women you once knew and loved, and get together somewhere the kids can play and you can sit and talk. Children’s museums, parks, libraries, mall play areas, and kid-friendly book stores should work great. If your kids don’t hate each other and you and your old friend still click like back in the day, congrats! You did it! You have a mommy friend!
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE Here’s where making mommy friends is harder than dating…seriously. Take the kids and venture out to one of those kid-friendly spots with the intention of making a new friend. This time, the criteria is a child of similar age or ability and a friendly face. That’s it. Honestly, while you’re both chasing after your respective little ones, you won’t know if you have much in common anyway. When it’s time for you or her to leave, ask for her phone number or email address. Just ask. Don’t settle for giving her yours. She won’t call. She’s busy like you, and perhaps mommy friends weren’t her mission that day. Get her digits, wait a day, then call and set up your next play date.
Read Related: Are Deep, Meaningful Friendships a Thing of the Past?
USE THE INTERNET Lots of mommy groups start (or forever stay) online. Looking to get in on the ground floor? Mamiverse’s own Club Mami is relaunching and will be among the best forums for mommies who could use some adult social interaction with other moms who will always understand and never judge one another. Don’t believe me? I’ve met two women online who chanced an in-person meet-up and I now consider them close friends! We get together once a month or so and email or text all the time. All because I became involved in an online community for moms.
MAKE IT A PRIORITY If one method of mommy dating isn’t working for you, try another. You need friends who are mothers, women who will understand you when you spend 20 minutes talking about cloth diapers or show up 37 minutes late to every playdate because you just can’t figure out your nap schedule. (After a while, she’ll tell you to meet her 37 minutes before she actually plans on showing up herself; that’s when you know it’s love). Mothers are often isolated and alone and we’re expected to manage everything without batting an eye. Without social support and women you can count on, perhaps simply to read your ALL CAPS email about the lady in the grocery store parking lot who dared to judge you, you’ll suffer. We girls need each other so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there! Heck, I’ll be your friend; you can never have too many!