- Plan something together, just the two of you. Just as you may feel that your stepmother is stealing your father, she may harbor similar feelings. So invite her on your next trip to the supermarket, offer to go with her to the pharmacy, or ask her out for coffee so you can bond.
- Do something for her. If you know she likes sofrito and you happen to find the brand she likes in the store, purchase a jar for her, or bring her the coffee brand that she likes.
- Teach your kids to respect her. If you have children, teach your kids to respect your stepmom. Moreover, don’t trash her in front of your kids.
- Leave conversations about how awesome your mother is for another time. For instance, do not go on about how good (or better than her) your mom cooks during a visit with your stepmom.
- Don’t act like la princesita de papá. Offer to cook, help with the cleanup, set the table when you go visit. She will appreciate the effort.
- Be yourself, but be a self that you all can handle. Pick your battles. I am not an advocate for being who you are not; I am all for authenticity. However, every place and situation has a code of conduct. Follow the one that better suits all of you while you are with your stepmom.