Yvette, a Manhattan mother of two, recounts a day recently when her husband accused her of being a negligent mother because she took one of the boys, who at the time was running a dangerously high fever, out in the rain to visit the pediatrician. “It was crazy the way he went at me,” she confessed. “And also very hurtful since negligent is far from what I am, and he knows it.” Upon further exploration, the couple realized that what Yvette’s husband experienced was a regression/progression moment. “It’s the feeling of an event that is absolutely exaggerated. A serious distortion of reality and an interpretation of what is going on based on the past,” explains family therapist Dr. Juan Carlos Dumas. “The key here,” says the mental health practitioner, “is that the parent experiencing the ‘flashback’ is not aware of it; only the observer sees it.” In other words, it’s a serious blast from the past that takes you back to a traumatic childhood experience and causes an unconscious freak-out moment—one apparent to everyone but you.