Finally, at that abortion clinic, Mary found out that her baby had died at ten weeks—a fact either not known or not disclosed by the midwife, who had seen Mary when she was twelve weeks pregnant. “This was very important information for my care,” says Mary. “It meant that the waiting for the miscarriage to happen naturally was not an option because of the risk of sepsis. It also meant that I could have been seen at the first abortion clinic because I wasn’t thirteen weeks pregnant.” Having a miscarriage is a terrible, terrible experience—and Mary suffered additional, needless trauma and duress. She closes her email to me with these words: “I am now wary of home births and have cautioned others against it because I don’t think women realize that they are opting out of the healthcare system if their pregnancy doesn’t have a happy ending, and they’ll likely be dealing with a provider they don’t know and may not feel comfortable with, in the midst of a difficult situation when they need emotional support, as well as physical care. I’m sure there are home birth midwives who have better back-up systems of care in place, but no woman is thinking to ask, ‘what will you do if I have a miscarriage?’ when making that choice.” It’s true; no woman wants to think that. Any woman deciding between birthing options wants a healthy outcome for all. But her decision has to be about what’s best for her and baby. It cannot be about the blissful birthing story her neighbor tells her, making her feel inferior about potentially choosing a hospital birth. It cannot be about feeling modern and open-minded versus being called old-fashioned or stodgy. It cannot be about what an association of midwives wants, or an association of doctors, or a birthing pool retailer. And it cannot be about feeling that in a worst-case scenario, a last-minute visit to the hospital will be the answer. As Mary’s story so painfully illustrates, it benefits every expectant mother to have every possible resource at her disposal to insure the outcome that she so very much wants: a healthy, happy baby and a healthy, happy mother.