Let’s not forget sports. Did a local baseball team win a championship? Did a soccer team score a goal that was somehow “extra special”? Fireworks are the official language of victory. Boom means “We did it!” A series of booms means “We did it twice!”
I once saw fireworks at 2 PM. That was for a car dealership. Yes, really. They sold a minivan to a family of five, and they celebrated with pyrotechnics. I’m not making this up. Capitalism is weird, my friend.
The Government Conspiracy (Probably Not)
Okay, hear me out. Sometimes fireworks are just training. The military or police do drills. They use flares or flash-bangs. But to your brain, it sounds like “Happy Fourth of July!” So you look up, and there’s nothing. Just a quiet sky. That’s the most unsettling thing. You start wondering if you imagined it. You did not.
Or—and this is my favorite theory—maybe it’s aliens. But they’re bad at landing. So they just explode in the atmosphere and say, “Oops, wrong coordinates.” We get a free light show. They go home frustrated.
