Morning at the Thyme restaurant downstairs is a glorious, chaotic carnival of breakfast. The “all-you-can-eat” buffet is a serious commitment—a buffet that judges your life choices. There’s a bacon mountain, sausages that look like they’re waving hello, and scrambled eggs that could double as wallpaper paste (in the best way). The hash browns are perfectly crisp, like tiny golden pillows for your soul.
Fun fact: The breakfast includes a “continental” corner with croissants and yogurt, but I saw a man in a rugby shirt fill his plate with six hash browns and zero fruit. He was my hero. The coffee machine offers a “latte” button, which dispenses a liquid that tastes slightly of ambition but mostly of hot milk and hope. Drink it anyway—you’ll need it for the walk to the Historic Dockyard.
Location: Right Where the Action (and Seagulls) Are
This hotel sits on Stanhope Road, which is basically Portsmouth’s party central. You’re a two-minute walk from the Gunwharf Quays outlet shopping centre, where you can buy designer jeans for half price and then cry about your credit card. If you fancy culture, the Portsmouth Cathedral is a five-minute stroll, and it’s free—unless you count the guilt for stealing that extra toilet roll. For a laugh, walk to the seafront and watch seagulls steal chips from toddlers. It’s free entertainment, and the gulls are better comedians than most Netflix specials.
Portsmouth 8277 | Premier Inn, Portsmouth City Centre City o… | Flickr
If you’re here for the world-famous Spinnaker Tower, the hotel’s location is a cheat code. You can see its gleaming, spaceship-like shape from your window, daring you to climb 170 meters up. I didn’t—heights make me nervous, and also I saw the price of the glass-floor viewing platform (about £12). Instead, I stood on the hotel’s doorstep and waved at it. It didn’t wave back. Passive-aggressive architecture is the worst.
