We’ve all been there, sister. The horror of getting over someone, the pains of a terrible heartbreak, pulling out your hair in agony and not being able to fathom ever being with anyone else again, because everyone else is at this moment is, well, repulsive. There is no set time in how long it takes to recover from the hurt of a split up. Getting over him or her could take months, a full year or years. But whatever you do, try not to wallow in the past and aim to make yourself happy, even if you have to force it. As easy as this sounds, for some it doesn’t come so easy. According to relationships specialist and writer Lexi Herrick from the Huffington Post,, “At first, you may try to resist. You try to hold on to the person life is inadvertently helping you let go of. You may try anything to grasp at pieces of them, because even you can’t believe what is happening. There comes a time though that the happiness builds confidence, and the confidence builds bravery. Then you start to let go.” In the end when it comes to getting over someone, it’s always mind over matter so here are some basic ways to get past this rough spot in your life, so you can cruise again.
Swear at him or her. Yes, we’ve been taught not to use foul language, it’s not lady-like or whatever you were told. But for this situation, use all the four-lettered words worth bleeping out on television. So, tell them to go f^%# themselves! because curses can actually be good for you, according to a study discussed in Scientific American that said that swearing may serve an important function in relieving pain. So go ahead say it in the privacy of your own home, whisper it in a bar, or just scream it, and let it all out once and for all. Not only will it sooth the pain, you are also proving to yourself that you are not going to be a victim in this situation.
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Rebound with a hot person and then go solo again. If you really want to know how to get over someone you love, though this goes against what others may think is good for you, we happen to think that a roll in the hay or a great make-out session with a cute stranger is the kind of craziness you need to get you ex out of your system. Sometimes we simply have to remind ourselves that there are other fish in the sea and that yes, you are very appealing to others and that you can have a fun romp and say ciao! when it’s over. But, remember to not take this behavior to extremes and return to reconnecting with you afterwards.
Be clear that you really hate him or her. Sometimes we hate to speak badly about other people to others. So we put on a good face about the situation by acting noble and focusing on your ex’s positive aspects. Well, apparently you are not doing yourself any favors by suppressing your true feelings (yes, you think they’re a jerk!). A study published in Cognitions and Emotions indicated that “those who expressed strong negative feelings about their ex in the immediate aftermath of the breakup were less likely to be depressed.” Evidently, venting and being honest about your pain and their lousy behavior will make you happier all the quicker in the end.
Say these words: I will find someone better. And repeat, “I will find someone better.” Trust us, these words may be the hardest to speak, but the power behind these words is crucial. Though you may not want to hear this right now, you will meet someone and they will be better, it’s just how life is. And this person will be kinder, gentler and not break your heart like this again. It’s time to start again.