“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It’s very important to be aware of them every time they come up.” ~Deepak Chopra~
We all have them. Those pesky voices in our heads that urgently seek to categorize, judge, and label everything: this is good, this is horrific, this makes me happy, this relaxes me, this drives me crazy, this elates me, this makes me want to chew through my own wrists, and so on. Having these “pesky voices” is part of being human. And, provided we know how to tame the ego and control the inner dialogue, it can be a good thing. Unfortunately, we often have trouble differentiating between our real selves and the self that thinks it knows what is best for us—so we allow our minds to take over and those voices essentially run the show.
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According to therapist and stress management coach, Roberta Shapiro, “We are actually comprised of many parts that are called ‘ego states.’ We have both hidden parts and parts we are aware of. For example, there is the part that may want to diet and the part that sabotages the diet, and so on.” The key, then, is to encourage these various parts of yourself to find compromise and somehow cooperate, all of them with the common goal of creating the most balanced, joyful and positive YOU.
Dr. Shapiro suggests a technique that asks you to label the different parts of yourself when you are in the throes of trying to make a decision or deal with a problem. She then asks you to call a figurative “board meeting” of these parts.
First order of business: Take roll call. Find out who is at this meeting. The ambitious you? The insecure you? The cautious you? The brash you? All of the above?
Second: Find out who is running the show.
Third: Identify who should be running the show.
Fourth: Strike a balance.
Remember, you are the CEO of your life, and all those other parts (the needy part, the loving part, the naughty part, the lazy part, etc.) are the employees that your soul has hired to maintain the best, most complete, textured, and interesting YOU. Now you just have to get them all to compromise and cooperate. Hey, nobody ever said being boss was an easy task. But the benefits are fantastic!