I recently read a very funny article on the telling signs that you are over 40. But in my book, 40 is still close enough to 39 that it gets grandfathered (or is it grandmothered?) into the 30s. But 45? Now that’s a game changer. So here goes my take on the 25 most telling signs that you are over 45:
1. You drop something and you look around for someone younger and more agile to bend down and pick it up for you.
2. You do a double take in the mirror and make sure that woman staring back at you is really you.
3. What you think you can do and what you can actually do physically don’t match…like jumping over a fence when you left your keys inside the house!
4. A “night out” sounds exhausting instead of fun.
5. You go clothes shopping and are thankful for dimly lit dressing rooms.
8. Benches on the hiking trail look more attractive than the trail itself.
Read Related: Fabulous at 40! 7 Women Tell Us How It’s Done!
9. You start choosing shoes not for their sexiness but for their arch support and “practical” heels.
10. You didn’t used to believe in miracle creams, but now you’re willing to try one—or six.
11. You now understand the title of Nora Ephron’s book “I hate my neck.”
12. You do not allow photos of you to be tagged on Facebook without you pre-approving them.
13. You no longer recognize any sign of ﬂirting.
14. You play Guess Whose Boobs are Fake with your friends.
15. You finally start to believe that “beauty is on the inside” and make it your mantra.
16. You get invited to a party and you check the time to make sure it doesn’t cut into your bedtime schedule.
17. Young people look at you like you are another species, and they call you “Ma’am.”
18. Every time you get out of bed, some part of you hurts.
19. You find you have more in common with the “older” crowd than the younger crowd.
20. You realize those things you worried about were a waste of your time, and you kick yourself for having all those insecurities.
21. You stop caring about what people think and actually decide it’s OK to leave the house for a quick run to the store with no makeup and a disheveled ponytail.
22. Your six pack abs are now spray-on.
23. Where you once dreaded your monthly period, you now cheer its arrival.
24. You have less hair to shave on your legs, but more to pluck or wax on your face.
25. Winter is your favorite season, because your long-sleeved clothes cover up you jiggly upper arms.