Oh, and we can’t forget the tomato. In 1893, the Supreme Court had to rule on whether the tomato was a fruit or a vegetable. Yes, the highest court in the land spent taxpayer dollars deciding the fate of the tomato. They ruled it a vegetable for tariff purposes, but botanically, it’s still a fruit. So technically, a ketchup packet is full of fruit puree. That’s right: fast-food ketchup is a fruit smoothie for fries. You’re welcome for that mental image.
So, what’s the final verdict on America’s national fruit? We don’t have one, but if we did, it would probably be the cranberry: native, bitter, and viewed with suspicion until it shows up at the holiday table. Or maybe it’s the blueberry: fake-blue, immortal, and inexplicably expensive in January. Honestly, the lack of an official fruit is the most American thing of all. We can’t agree on anything, so we just celebrate them all—especially if they’re covered in sugar and served at a barbecue. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go eat a fruit salad and contemplate our country’s lack of botanical diplomacy.
