Raise your hand if you want to know how to win an argument. Even the most peaceful people have arguments from time to time. It’s a part of being human and interacting with people who you might not always agree with. It’s normal to butt heads, to have differences of opinion, and to sometimes discuss and negotiate those disagreements in an argument. While arguments are actually healthy for a relationship, you need to understand there is a difference between arguing and fighting. According to Stephanie Sarkis Ph.D. in an article for Psychology Today, “you can argue without fighting. Arguing is non-combative—you and your partner state your points of view without name-calling or raising your voice. Sometimes you agree to disagree—and that’s okay.” On the other hand, fighting is an attack, it is hurtful and it can be disastrous for a relationship.
So it seems that having arguments is not the problem, but fighting unfairly is. There is a big difference between having an argumentative discussion that can improve a relationship versus attacking someone in a way that just leads to more hurtful fighting. All relationships involve arguing, it’s a part of the deal and a part of what helps you grow as a couple. And that same logic applies to your work relationships and your friendships. But the key to ensuring those engagements end well and lead to growth rather than animosity and resentment is to make sure that all involved parties fight fairly and with respect.
Here are some tips on how to win an argument with integrity: