As for when you should share scary news stories and bad news with your kids, Dr. Paul Coleman, author of How to Say It to Your Child When Bad Things Happen, suggests that you wait until they are older if you can. Older kids “might see it on TV or hear about it at school, and then you have to deal with it. But younger children might not be able to handle it well,” he explains. Young kids may understand if something is right versus wrong, but they don’t understand the cruel motivations of others, they don’t understand how they will be affected by a situation that might take place somewhere else in the world, and they certainly don’t need to deal with the trauma of violent situations and loss until absolutely necessary.
When you do broach the tough topic of current events, make it a conversation, rather than a lecture. Your kids don’t want to be talked down to or feel like they are in school. They will respond best and feel safest if you engage in an open dialogue about what they see and hear on the news, from their friends or on TV. Ask what they already know and how it makes them feel. Tell them what you know and how it makes you feel. Remind them that their feelings of fear, confusion, frustration, and pain are totally normal and that you share their emotions. Keep the facts simply to start, but be open to answering any questions your kids may have and encourage them to talk to you any time they are concerned.
