say no be assertive

say no be assertive

Are you riddled with too many responsibilities and not enough time? Do you feel you need more hours in the day? Do you want a life that feels more in tune with what you care about and less weighed down with obligations?  Then what you probably need is to say NO more often, and we’re here to help.

I used to believe life would slow down after I got past this certain deadline or that other phase. But, just when I thought the rush was over, another ‘opportunity’ showed up, and so I never slowed down. Since I’m a pleaser, I’d say yes to anything that would help me help the community. However, that made my world a little crazier while it was more and more challenging for me to focus on my real priorities.

Life doesn’t get easier on its own; it always gets harder. Unless you do something about it, that is. You have to make your life more manageable. While I am not sure perfect balance really exists, you can create a situation where you have less racket and more flow. Make that decision today, and regain control of your life!

We each have a unique way we are meant to contribute to the world’s needs. You have to unveil your life’s purpose and devote all of your energy to that. If each one of us finds our purpose and we follow it with a passion, then the world will flow more smoothly. The key is to avoid spreading our energy so thin that we end up doing everything half-heartedly.

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Manage your time! You should say no when something just isn’t a fit—even if you are fully capable of doing what you’re being asked to—and you should only say yes to things you can’t imagine NOT doing. This is simple, but it sure isn’t easy. While there will always be dishes to wash and laundry to do, it is possible to eventually do more of what you want to do and less of what you don’t.

Write a list of things you didn’t enjoy doing in the last year. Ask yourself what wasn’t fun, depleted your energy or made you unhappy. All those things should show up on your ¡Basta! list because really, enough is enough. My ¡Basta! list includes working on the weekend, cell phones in the bedroom, and “just because” meetings. Writing your own “enough is enough” list will help you understand what you need to say no to.

Sometimes we say yes when we mean no because we’re caught off guard and can’t seem to find the right words. Practice these answers so you’re better prepared when the time comes to say no. Thankfully, I’ve found people are far more prepared to take no for an answer than I thought!

Thanks for thinking of me. I am so sorry to have to say no, but I know you’ll find just the right person.

Thank you for asking, but I just don’t think I can do that as well as someone who is more adept at: fill in the blank here.

I am so sorry, but I am not able to take on any new responsibilities right now.

If you just can’t bear to say no to the person’s face or over the phone, say: I need to get back to you. Then you can get perspective and rehearse. After some practice saying no, it becomes easier to protect your time so you’re actually able to use more of your energy for what the world most needs from you and for what you most need for yourself.