It never hurts to have a little extra advice for the bride. Granted, a wedding is supposed to be a union between two people who love each other and want to spend their lives together. But as anyone who’s ever planned a wedding or been a bridesmaid knows, a wedding is a whole lot more than that. So what happens when a bride loses sight of the real reason she is getting hitched, and she becomes a total b*tch who torments her bridesmaids and becomes so wrapped up in the nonsense of her wedding celebration that everyone hates her? The term bridezilla comes to mind, and we’re here to help you avoid that dreaded title.
Now, let’s be clear; if a bride becomes a little wedding-obsessed it’s not entirely her fault. According to New York City-based marriage therapist and author, Sherry Amatenstein, “wedding planning is one of the most stressful endeavors known to womankind. You and/or your parents are spending thousands of dollars on an event that will last a few hours yet live on in photos, videos, and your memories forever. You want every detail to be perfect from the flowers to the seating arrangements to of course, your appearance.” Sure, it’s only natural that a bride be slightly obsessed with her wedding plans at all times. But it is also possible to be a low-key bride-to-be, and we’ve got some tips to help you NOT become that bride that everyone hates. After all, a wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love, not a chance to become a psycho dictator in a white dress. Write that down.
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Let’s start with a basic rule of thumb: even though you are getting married, the rest of the world is still going to rotate on its normal axis. Work will continue, businesses will thrive, buses will run on schedule and all of your loved ones will still need to function in their daily lives. The world does not stop because you are getting married. So no matter how busy you may be or how stressed you may get about your wedding planning, don’t forget that the world will not revolve around your blessed union.
Here’s some more advice for the bride: if you are suddenly fighting with everyone in your life ever since you got engaged, from your mother to your best friend to your cousins and your fiancé, then consider that it’s probably not them; it’s you. Take a step back from your wedding planning haze and think about why you’re so on edge and why you are butting heads with everyone you meet. If you’re disagreeing with them about wedding plans, then remind yourself that it’s OK for other people to have different opinions than you. While you don’t have to always agree with them, you do need to hear them out and respect them.
If you choose to have bridesmaids, then there are certain measures you must take if you want to make sure these close friends and loved ones are still close friends and loved ones after your wedding. We’re not saying you need to bend over backwards to make them feel special, though you should want to make them feel special (and they should feel the same way about you) anyway because you are friends. What we’re saying is you need to respect your bridesmaids and be conscious of their lives, which ironically do not revolve around your wedding planning. Respect their opinions, respect their time, respect their financial situations and above all, be a good friend to them. The second you treat them like hired help who are required to serve you, dedicate all their time to helping you try on dresses and shell out their hard-earned cash on an ugly dress you pick is the second they’ll question why they agreed to be your bridesmaid in the first place.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and you notice that you’re snapping at people you care about and you’re not happy, then you need to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to request assistance if you can’t handle everything on your own. People would rather help you now than deal with your crappy attitude later.
And when in doubt, remember, it’s just one day. Yes, it’s an important day that you’ll hopefully remember and cherish forever, but it’s just one day. Your marriage is for the rest of your life, and your friendships will hopefully last through several live events and happy occasions, so treat people the way you’d like to be treated and never forget your priorities.