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So, can I move? Can I leave Mami to live on her own without a companion? I’m not sure. I have yet to tell Mami of my plans, fearing an emotional reaction. Mami is attached. Her kids are her life and my presence here, in her home, enables her role of Doting Mother. She is proud of that role. She doesn’t know how to be anyone else. And so, I’ve kept this from her. Mami doesn’t see this coming. I even caught her throwing out the one box I’ve kept from my old apartment. I walked to the bathroom and there it was. My cardboard box filled with my midnight blue ceramic plates, cups and silverware and marked ‘KITCHEN.’ I keep it in my apartment, because to me, it represents my freedom, my former life in my own space. She was throwing away my freedom!

I have to tell her the truth.