Self-deception is human nature and we’re all guilty of it to some extent. Evolutionary biologist and author of The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life, Robert Trivers explains, “Our sensory systems are organized to give us a detailed and accurate view of reality but once this information arrives in our brains, it is often distorted and biased to our conscious minds.” On the plus side, lying to yourself isn’t always a bad thing — it’s the stuff dreams are made of after all! The key is recognizing when it may be hurting you.
Most self-deception is unconscious, so friends and loved ones often see it before you do. One of the most common examples is the boyfriend that all of your friends hate. If you’re hearing the same advice from everyone yet continually ignore it, there’s a good chance you’re lying to yourself and he really isn’t the man of your dreams.