Be reassuring, positive and open. Children can be frightened by the strong emotions that go along with separation. There are positive ways parents can cope with separation from their children so that their own anxiety does not overwhelm the kids. These positive ways to be in touch with your children will make you all stronger people.
Also Enjoy: How to Co-Parent After Divorce
Having gone through this experience, I can relate to this story. My son’s dad and I keep in touch twice a day when our son is not with one of us. We call to say “good morning” and “good night” and make sure we are connected. Vacations prove a little harder to stay connected, especially for my son’s father, but we manage. We also attend our son’s functions even if it is not “our day” to be with our son. We try to not let go more than a couple of days without my son seeing both of us. And we recently implemented “breakfast with mom and dad” in which we both sit down with him at a restaurant my son chooses and we give him our undivided attention, talk about what’s going on in his world, etc. We have agreed to do this once a month. So there are plenty of opportunities for my son to share his time with mom and dad and feel like a “normal” child. We must all strive to put our differences aside as ex-husband/ex-wife and put the children first, always.
Loved the idea of “breakfast with dad and mom”. I think you both are doing wonderfully, your son is a very lucky boy!!!!
I have read many other articles that mention how important it is to tell your children that you miss them. I use to tell my children when the woke in the morning, I missed them while they slept, this was prior to and post divorce. I tell them I miss them now when we talk, but not crying or sad, just that they are loved and missed. Is it wrong?
Todd, I´m sure the writer will answer too but as a divorced mom myself and Editor in Chief of Mamiverse I wanted to give you my two cents. I try to be upbeat with my kids and tell them I love them, but not that I miss them. The only reason being that I don´t want them to feel bad about me missing them … I see how their face changes when their dad tells them exactly that over the phone (I have an amicable co-parenting relationship with my ex), and then they look and sound sad … as if it hits them that their dad is “alone.” It´s his choice of words, but seeing how they were all fun until they realized their other parent might not be ok without them has made me abstain from any comment that may make them feel bad for me. Again, I repeat to them and show them that I love them, all the time! Hope this helps! http://www.lorrainecladish.com
Thank you Lorraine, I agree 100%. I´ve just read Todd and gave him a very similar answer!
I imagined you would, but the subject touches a fiber. 🙂
Oh! Sure it does!!! 😉
Hi Todd, how could that be wrong? Telling your children you love and miss them is sweet and good for them to know. Just be careful not make them feel guilty for being missed so much. I always tell mine I love them and I miss them whenever they are away, but I also remind them I am SO happy they are having a good time and I´m eager to know everything about their holidays, weekend or whatever it is. One extra tip? When I´m on the phone with them I speak with a smile on my face so my voice sounds really happy and no sad at all. 😉
Hello. I am going thru a divorce situation myself. Me and my soon-to-be ex still live together. I’m battling what the right thing is to do. We have a 7-year old awesome boy. I’m stuck with the decision is it better for our son to remain living together or is it better to live separately. I cry all the time because I don’t know what to do. I have no family both parents of mine are deceased and an only child so I don’t really have anyone to goto for advice with this. My ex is also very controlling and withholds assets etc so I feel stuck. Don’t know if I can afford to live on my own. Just looking for some advice and input. I greatly appreciate anyone’s time.