Here’s my advice, delivered with the gravity of a Sunday sermon: Plan ahead. Before you go to bed Saturday, check the websites of the shops you might need. Or better yet, buy everything on Friday. Yes, Friday. Like a responsible adult. Then laugh at the panic on Sunday morning.
If you forget, remember this: Gas stations are your best friend. They’re open, they have overpriced Milk Duds, and they won’t judge you for wearing pajamas at 2 p.m. You can survive on beef jerky and gas-station coffee for one day. It builds character.
So go forth, Easter warrior. Whether you’re hunting for chocolate, salvation, or a bag of ice, know that Walmart, Target, and CVS have your back. And if all else fails, just eat the ham cold. It’s still a miracle.
