I’m not here to say all godfathers are evil. Some are just people with control issues and a Netflix subscription to “The Sopranos.” But if you’re in a godfather marriage, you need to know one thing: you’re not a family member. You’re a made man—and that status can be revoked at any time. The only way out is to cut the strings and walk. Without a horse head in your bed.
So here’s my advice, friend: if your partner ever starts a sentence with “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse,” run. Not because of the violence—because the offer is always your freedom with a price tag attached. And nobody, not even a fictional don, gets to set the price on your life.
P.S. I still have that list of favors. I keep it in my sock drawer. Someday, I’m going to frame it—right next to my divorce certificate—and call it modern art. You’re welcome, MoMA.
