First up, you have the finance bros. These guys don’t so much “live” in the Hamptons as they invade it every weekend from May to September. They roll in with their Range Rovers, screaming into Bluetooth headsets about “alpha” and “beta” while ordering $18 iced coffees. You’ll spot them by their uniform: pastel shorts, a blazer worn ironically, and a toddler’s sense of patience. They’re not here for the beach; they’re here to network on the beach.
Fun fact: A surprising number of them never actually go in the ocean. They stand at the waterline, phones raised, live-streaming the sunset for their Instagram followers back in Manhattan. The real locals call them “summer locusts,” and honestly? It’s a fair nickname.
