1. The Pelvic Tilt (or “Pretend You’re a Cat Having an Existential Crisis”)
Get on all fours. Yes, right now. No one’s watching. Arch your back up like a Halloween cat, then slowly drop your belly toward the floor. This is called the “child’s pose” in yoga, but I call it “sending a memo to your colon.”
Repeat this ten times. You’ll feel a shift, a rumble, and then—poof—the prisoner escapes. It’s like opening a shaken soda bottle without the mess. If you hear a small trumpet solo, just nod wisely.
2. The Knee-to-Chest Hug (A.k.a. “The Baby Cradle of Flatulence”)
Lie on your back. Pull your knees toward your chest and wrap your arms around them like you’re hugging a beach ball that keeps farting. Rock gently side to side. This squeezes your colon like a tube of toothpaste.
Ways To Stop Trapped Wind at Evie Sally blog
Hold for 30 seconds. You might feel a little bubble travel north, then suddenly go south. That’s the sound of victory. If your partner asks what you’re doing, just say you’re “realigning your chakras.” They’ll be too confused to ask more.
