Look, I’m not a marriage counselor. I’m just a guy who has made every mistake in the book and lived to tell the tale. The secret isn’t complicated: be present, be reliable, and always keep emergency chocolate. Do that, and you’ll be amazed how often you get to watch the game in peace. Or at least, how often she pretends not to mind.
And remember: if she says she’s fine, she’s not fine. That’s not a fact; that’s the first law of marital thermodynamics. You can’t break it. You can only work around it. Now go fold that fitted sheet like a gentleman. Your happiness—and 19% more bedroom activity—depends on it.
