Some people cycle to Alton Towers. These people are superheroes or madmen. I saw a bloke once cycling up the final hill, dripping with sweat, wearing full Lycra. He looked like a human teabag that had been squeezed dry. He was smiling. He was also, I am convinced, a mirage. Don’t cycle unless you want your thighs to file for divorce.
How Do I Get to Alton Towers
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