Because Sue Pollard is our national treasure. We want her to be happy. We want her to have someone who appreciates her pun-loving, cardigan-wearing genius.
Also, it’s just fun. Speculating about a 70-something comedy icon is way more interesting than celebrity gossip about 20-year-olds. It’s refreshing. It’s wholesome.
And let’s be honest—we all want a love story like hers. One involving wet fish, corgis, and possibly a trained ferret. She’s living her best life, whether single or not.
The funny details that matter
Did you know she once said her perfect date is “a walk on the beach, followed by a bag of chips, and a row about who’s the best comedian”? That’s goals.
She also owns a collection of talking dolls. She’s admitted they “keep her company.” Is that a euphemism? Is one of them named Derek? We may never know.
Another quirky fact: She’s a trained ventriloquist. Imagine her dummy asking, “So, Sue, who’s the lucky guy?” She’d probably make it reply, “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.” Iconic.
Life upon the ‘wicked’ stage... and some of the wonderful characters
Let’s talk about the internet’s role. Reddit has a whole thread dedicated to her love life. It’s called “Sue’s Mystery Beau.” The top comment is: “It’s probably a talking badger.” That’s the level of discourse we’re dealing with.
Twitter users once started a campaign to get her a dating show. The host? She’d be the only contestant. The format: She judges potential suitors based on their ability to quote Are You Being Served? I’d watch that.
But here’s the kicker. In a 2019 interview, a reporter asked her directly, “Are you in love?” She paused, looked into the camera, and said, “I’m in love with laughter.” Then she walked away. Mic drop.
That’s Sue Pollard for you. She’s not just a person—she’s a vibe. Her relationship status is a delightful mystery. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
