First, lower your expectations. If you live in Cornwall or Brighton, a white Christmas is about as likely as seeing a polar bear on the high street.
Second, embrace the British Christmas alternative: grey skies, muddy boots, and a faint drizzle. It’s our heritage. We can still make mulled wine and watch Home Alone.
Third, if you really want snow, book a trip to the Cairngorms. Or just squint really hard at a frosted car windscreen on the 25th. It’s basically the same thing.
So grab your cuppa, put on that terrible Christmas jumper, and accept the truth. Our last proper snow-on-the-ground Christmas was in 2010. And frankly, that's fine.
As long as the shops are closed and the roast potatoes are crispy, who cares if it’s a bit damp outside? …Okay, fine. We all care. But we’re British. We’ll moan about it, then drink through it.
