Meet Steatoda nobilis, or the Noble False Widow. It’s the spider that gets all the tabloid headlines, usually next to a photo of a slightly grumpy foot.
Here’s the gag: yes, it can bite. And yes, it hurts. But it’s like comparing a papercut to a lion attack. The false widow’s venom is medically insignificant for the vast majority of people.
You are statistically more likely to be killed by a champagne cork (this is a real stat, I’m not joking) than by a false widow. So maybe worry about your next bubbly celebration instead.
The “Dangerous” One That Isn’t: The Tube Web Spider
Next up is the Segestria florentina, or the Tube Web Spider. This one looks proper menacing—it has iridescent green fangs that literally glow in the dark like something from a horror movie.
People see those fangs and imagine instant doom. But the reality is: its venom is roughly equivalent to a bee sting. A bee that is very cross, granted, but just a bee.
It lives in old walls and under rubble. You will only meet it if you’re actively trying to get bitten, like if you’re a builder who enjoys poking holes in dark places for fun.
Britain’s only poisonous spiders are invading UK households as warm
