When he first wore them, the internet laughed. “Simon looks like a moth!” “Simon looks like a drone from Black Mirror!” He loved it. In his memoir, he writes about how the negative reaction made him wear them more.
This is pure Simon Cowell energy. If you tell him he looks stupid, he will triple-down. He wore red glasses to the Queen’s Jubilee. He wore them to Prince Charles’ coronation concert. The man showed up to meet royalty looking like a sexy traffic light.
So, the final answer to “why red glasses?” is a beautiful, chaotic mess of practicality, vanity, and sheer spite. He wanted to see, he wanted to look different, and he wanted to troll the world. It worked.
The Real Secret He Hides
Here is a surprising fact: Simon Cowell is actually color-blind to certain reds. He has a mild form of color blindness (deuteranomaly). This means he doesn’t see red the same way you do. He thinks his glasses are a subtle, dusty brick color. Meanwhile, you see Ferrari racing stripes on his face.
It is the most Simon way to pick a signature accessory: he accidentally chose the loudest color in the spectrum and didn’t even realize it was that loud. He’s like a cat who sits in a box, convinced he’s invisible.
So next time you see him buzz a struggling comedian off the stage, don’t look at his smirk. Look at the glasses. They are a monument to a man who woke up one day, picked a weird color, and never looked back. Wear yours with the same deranged confidence, or at least buy his perfume.
