No. The Thames sharks are the ideal housemates: they keep to themselves, eat fish scraps, and don’t steal your milk. The river is actually safer than your average supermarket car park—fewer angry drivers, more graceful fins. Plus, these sharks are protected species, so they’re basically the celebrity guests of the ecosystem.
In fact, the really dangerous thing in the Thames is the “Thames Estuary Traffic Jam” of cargo ships. Have you seen those massive container vessels? They’re like floating buildings with a bad attitude. A shark would just be a speed bump to them. So next time you cross a bridge, give a little nod to the water—you might not see the sharks, but they’re down there, doing their little shark thing, minding their own business.
Final thought: The Thames has sharks, and the world is weirder and more wonderful because of it. Now go enjoy your sandwich by the riverbank; the only fin you’ll see is on a swan, and those things are actually terrifying. But that’s another story.
