Here’s the thing that gets me: Starmer doesn’t like doing these things. He’s not a speech-bomb kind of leader. He’s the guy who sends you a pre-vetted, grammatically perfect email when you just want a quick “k, see u at 8.” So why today? The official line is he’ll talk about “the state of the nation” and lay out his government’s plan for the coming months. State of the nation—that’s a phrase that usually means either something is going really well, or something is going really, really sideways.
I’m betting on a bit of both. Because let’s face it: the UK feels like it’s been through a washing machine cycle—fast spin, no stop button. The economy is doing that thing where it’s not quite a disaster, but it’s also not a party. And people are tired. Tired of cost-of-living graphs that look like ski slopes, tired of potholes, tired of hearing “long-term plan” when what they really want is “free coffee on Tuesdays.” (Okay, maybe that last one is just me.) Starmer knows this. So maybe—just maybe—he’ll drop the formal tone and talk to us like we’re humans, not voters.
The Irony of the “Reset” Button
Here’s where I get a little cheeky. Remember when Boris Johnson gave those dramatic speeches, and we all mocked the hair and the mixed metaphors? Then Rishi Sunak talked at us from behind a lectern that looked like it was borrowed from a school board meeting? Now Starmer steps up, and the irony is that he’s the one who supposedly represents “change.” But his speeches so far have been so careful, so lawyerly, that you’d think he’s still arguing a case in court. “M’lud, my client the economy would like to show evidence of modest growth, but—” No, Keir. Just tell us the story.
I want him to look at the camera and say, “Look, I know you’re all watching eel documentaries and wondering if your heating bill will double. Here’s what I’m actually going to do, and here’s why you should trust me—no jargon, no ‘moving forward,’ no ‘enhanced stakeholder engagement.’” But I’m not holding my breath. If he does that, I’ll eat my metaphorical hat. If he doesn’t, well, we’ll all just keep scrolling.
Keir Starmer announces major £1.6bn missile deal with Ukraine in
