So, are maraschino cherries real? Yes, but also no. They are a real fruit that has undergone a chemical and cultural transformation. They are the fruit world’s equivalent of a celebrity who had so much plastic surgery they look nothing like their yearbook photo. You know it’s the same person, but you’re still a little freaked out.
At the end of the day, don’t overthink it. If you like the neon red ones, enjoy them. Just don’t tell your grandma you spent ten minutes questioning their existence. She already thinks you’re a little weird for that.
And if you ever find a jar that says “made with natural flavors,” just know that “natural” in this context means “we started with a real cherry, then did insane things to it.” But hey, that’s still more real than a plastic one, right?
