The number one spark-killer? Treating your partner like a very familiar roommate you’re also allowed to touch. You know the drill: “What’s for dinner?”, “Did you pay the internet bill?”, “Don’t leave your socks there.” Stop it. Right now. Those are the logistics of a co-living arrangement, not the language of lovers.
You need to inject novelty into the mundane. Instead of asking about their day in the same monotone voice while looking at your phone, try a game: “Tell me one weird thing that happened today.” Or “What’s a secret thought you had at lunch?” The goal isn't the answer; it’s the act of playing together. It’s remembering you’re partners in crime, not just partners in property management.
And for the love of all that is romantic, stop talking about the schedule during dinner. Save the logistics for a five-minute meeting on the couch. Dinner is for being delightfully distracted by each other, not for planning the next trip to the hardware store. (Side comment: You know I’m right. You’ve done it.)
The Sneaky Power of 'Friendly' Flirting
Think back to when you were dating. You didn’t start conversations with “Hi, dear, did you schedule the dentist appointment?” You started with playful teases, lingering looks, and inside jokes. Reclaim that. Flirt with your partner like you’re trying to win them over again. Send a silly meme that only they would get, or a text that says “I just thought of you and smirked in public. People are staring.”
3 Ways to Get the Spark Back in Your Relationship - wikiHow
Here’s a pro-tip: Physical touch without the expectation of sex is a game-changer. A hand on the small of their back while you’re making coffee. A quick, firm hug that lasts five seconds longer than usual. This re-establishes a sense of connection and safety that the spark thrives on. It’s like watering the plant without demanding it bloom immediately.
Also, make a pact to laugh at something ridiculous together every day. Find a video of a cat being launched off a shelf, or recount that god-awful date you had before you met (you know, the one with the guy who only talked about his kombucha business). Shared laughter is rocket fuel for low-energy relationships. It reminds you you’re on the same team.
