When your friend says, “I only eat unprocessed food,” hand them a can of tuna. They’ll argue, and you can ask, “Did you grow this fish in your backyard?” See how that goes. It’s a conversation starter. Or a friendship ender. Either way, it’s fun.
So next time you pop open that can, smile. You’re eating a perfectly decent, slightly meddled-with fish. It’s processed in the way a hug is processed from a greeting—it’s just one step removed from the real thing. And honestly? That’s close enough for lunch.
Now go make a tuna salad. You’ve earned it.
