Tonight’s LSU game kicks off at 7:00 PM Central Time. Write that on your forehead. If you’re in the Eastern time zone, that’s 8:00 PM—because God hates math and your sleep schedule equally. Mountain time? 6:00 PM. Pacific time? 5:00 PM, which is apparently lunchtime for normal people.
But here’s the kicker: that time is a lie. “Kickoff” in college football is a theoretical concept, like “I’ll only have one beer” or “this diet starts Monday.” The actual start will happen after the TV timeout, the coin toss, and the band plays the fight song twice because the trumpets were flat.
Why You Should Trust Me (Or Not)
I’ve been burned before. Once, I showed up at 7:00 PM for an LSU game only to discover the game was at 3:00 PM and I’d missed three touchdowns and a live tiger mascot eating a hot dog. Always check the official LSU athletics website or the app with the purple tiger. Social media? Full of memes and lies. Your cousin’s Facebook post? He’s still living in 2019.
Also, surprising fact: LSU once started a game at 11:00 AM just to mess with everyone. It was called the “Bayou Brunch Bowl,” and tailgaters were still setting up grills as the first quarter ended. Never assume rationality when purple and gold are involved.
