If you’re feeling lazy and greasy, fast food is your friend. McDonald’s and Wendy’s are open, but here’s the trap: the drive-thru line will be longer than the line for a Marvel movie premiere. You’ll wait 40 minutes for a frosty that’s half-melted. Is it worth it? Yes, but only if you bring snacks for the wait. Snacks in line for snacks—that’s peak American logistics.
But avoid Chick-fil-A like it’s a spoiled potato salad. They’re always closed on Sunday, and you’d think Labor Day would be a free-for-all. Nope. Their chicken stays holy and off-limits. Pray elsewhere.
The Surprising Survivors
Hardware stores? Lowe’s and Ace Hardware are open. I once saw a man buy a chainsaw at Lowe’s on Labor Day, then use it to open a coconut. The spirit of “I can fix it myself” lives strong. Also open: most gyms (because some people love punishment), and all movie theaters (air conditioning and popcorn: the true labor of love).
But the real shocker? Starbucks is open, but they might run out of oat milk by 10 a.m. because everyone forgot to order extra. You’ll be faced with a choice: plain coffee or a tearful drive to the next town. Choose wisely.
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