So, to put it all together in a timeline you can tattoo on your arm: Heat oil to 350°F. Dry your pork chop like you’re drying a wet cat (paper towels, go nuts). Season liberally—don’t be shy with the salt. Lower it in gently; don’t drop it like a hot mic. Set a timer for 3 minutes for thin chops, 4 minutes for standard, 6 minutes for thick. Flip halfway through.
When the timer dings, check the temp. If it’s perfect, rest it on a wire rack (not paper towels—they create steam and ruin the crunch!). Let it rest for three minutes while you try to fight off the dog. Slice, eat, and bask in the glory of a perfectly timed deep-fried pork chop.
And remember: if you mess up, just call it “country-fried” and drown it in gravy. Nobody will ever know.