First, panic order the thing you already ordered. It’s the only way. I know a bloke in Bristol who ordered a new kettle. The old one broke. He waited three weeks. He’s now brewing tea with a hair dryer. Royal Mail’s tracking said “Delivered.” It was delivered to a fox. The fox now has very hot tea.
Royal Mail warning to 63 postcodes as mail won't be posted on time
Second, check your local sorting office. Go in person. Bring biscuits. The posties will sniff you out. One woman in NG1 3GF got her missing parcel after she baked a cake for the staff. The cake was shaped like a post box. It worked. Bribery works.
Third, use the tracking website. But don’t trust it. The tracking for my own letter (postcode SW19 5AE, Wimbledon) said “In Transit” for 10 days. I called and asked, “Transit to where, the moon?” The automated voice replied, “Your item is currently experiencing a fulfilling journey of self-discovery.” I hung up.
Surprising Fact Intermission!
Here’s a jaw-dropper: Royal Mail processes over 17 million items a day. That’s a lot. But this week, they processed 17 million items and then lost 200,000. That’s like losing a small town. The lost town is probably called “Letter-ville.” Population: your Christmas cards.
Also, did you know that the longest UK postcode is IV27 4NP? It’s in the Scottish Highlands. This week, a letter sent there took six days to travel 30 miles. A tortoise could have beaten it. The tortoise is now the postmaster of Lairg.
Royal Mail delivery delays continue as Merseyside postcodes affected
