We spend billions of dollars on “alkaline water” machines and fancy bottles, but the real health risk in most water isn’t the pH—it’s things like lead, microplastics, or bacteria. So before you stress about whether your water is pH 7.0 or pH 8.5, just make sure it’s clean. Drink it. Move on with your life.
And next time someone asks you “what does PH stand for in water?” at a party, you can smile knowingly and say, “It’s Latin for ‘power of hydrogen,’ but Sørensen just used it as a math trick.” They’ll either be deeply impressed or slowly back away. Either way, you win. (Plus, now you get to feel smug every time you see a fancy water bottle ad. You’re welcome.)
