Don’t forget caffeine. A single Coke has about 34 milligrams—not a lot, but enough to give your colon a gentle kick to the behind. Caffeine relaxes the anal sphincter muscles, which is science-speak for “it opens the floodgates.” Doctors even call it the gastrocolic reflex. Fancy name, same result: you’ll be reading shampoo bottles in ten minutes.
So if you’re already sensitive to coffee’s “morning movement,” Coke is like its fizzy, slightly less dramatic cousin. But here’s a surprise: Diet Coke might be even worse for some people. Artificial sweeteners like aspartame can ferment in your gut and cause explosive results. Yes, you can get the poops without the sugar highs.
