Here’s my advice, café friend: sip seltzer slowly, not like you’re trying to win a drinking contest at a frat party. Give your stomach time to burp out the bubbles. And if you’re really gassy, try room-temperature seltzer—cold bubbles contract your stomach, trapping gas, while warm bubbles expand and escape faster.
In the end, seltzer water is like that friend who tells you the hard truth: it can help you burp your way to relief, but it can also make you fart your way into regret. Drink wisely, burp proudly, and for heaven’s sake, don’t do it on a Zoom call.
Now, cheers to your bubbles—and your belches.
