As the daughter-in-law to a very difficult suegra, I’ve written a lot about how to manage a civil relationship with a meddlesome mother-in-law and how to forgive her when necessary, but today I’m going to talk about how to get revenge.

Maybe it’s frowned upon to offer advice on settling scores with the mother of one’s husband, but when you’ve been treated horribly for years in a situation where you felt compelled to bite your tongue and just put up with it, there is something very sweet about finally being able to serve up some justice.

So, who’s with me? Ready to give your suegra exactly what she deserves? Here are three ways to finally get that revenge you’ve been thirsting for, (and these methods are guaranteed not to upset your husband and kids in the process.)

1. Live a good life. You’ve heard the George Herbert quote, “Living well is the best revenge,” and this is absolutely true. Nothing will upset your suegra more than seeing you and her son live happily ever after. So, move on with your life and do all those things that make you feel happy, successful, balanced and whole.

2. Don’t give her your mental space or emotional energy. You’ve already given her so much. If your suegra is anything like mine then you gave until it hurt, gave until you had nothing left to give, figuratively and literally. At some point you will have to draw a line and the one thing you must promise yourself is that you won’t give her any more of your mental space and emotional energy. Do not waste another minute mulling over all the ways she has wronged you. She isn’t worth it. Your time, thoughts, and energy are much too valuable to be wasted on this kind of negativity.

3. Be a good suegra when your time comes. Here’s another quote you may be familiar with:
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to serve as a horrible warning. —Catherine Aird

Let your mother-in-law be a red light to you, the warning being—”This could be you in thirty years if you aren’t careful!” Now is the time to recap on all the ways your suegra has made your life hell, but only to vow to do the complete opposite when your son or daughter marries. That’s right, one day, you too will be a suegra—but it’s up to you whether you’ll be the kind of suegra who inspires your daughter or son-in-law to seek methods of revenge, or not.