Raise your hand if you’ve recently stopped to ask yourself, what political party am I? While history is full of unflattering quotes about each of the United States’ two main rival political parties, when it comes down to solving our county’s everyday problems perhaps Fiorello LaGuardia had some insight on the political party system in general: “There is no Republican or Democratic way of cleaning the street.”
That said, the reality is that in this day and age the way a Republican or a Democrat views the world, and what they each think is best for our country, happens to differ significantly. Ambrose Bierce once coined the perfect phrase depicting what it truly means to think like either a donkey or an elephant in today’s nutty political world: “What is a Democrat? One who believes that the Republicans have ruined the country. What is a Republican? One who believes that the Democrats would ruin the country.” Can’t we all just get along? Not during an election. Here’s how to really know if you’re a Democrat or a Republican. Where do you stand?
Guns What are your gut feelings about the Second Amendment? If you feel everyone should be able to own and carry guns, then you are probably a Republican. If you believe strict gun control laws are needed in the United States, then it sounds like you are a Democrat.
Taxes What system of taxation do you support? If you believe everyone should pay the same amount of taxes regardless of income, then you are probably Republican. If you feel there should be a sliding scale based on income, you are very much a Democrat.
Racial Equality Where do you think our country stands on race relations? As the Washington Post reports, if you feel the country has made “a lot” of progress toward racial equality then you are most likely a Republican. If you believe there have been shorter strides made toward racial equality, then you are most likely a Democrat.
Global Warming Where do you stand on the environment? As per US News, if you believe human-generated carbon emissions is driving global warming, then you are definitely a Democrat. If you don’t blame humans, but natural forces, then you test positive for Republican.
Health Care How do you feel about government regulation and oversight of the health care system? If you are for the Affordable Care Act, because it makes the health care system accessible to everyone, then you are a Democrat. If you don’t care for the Affordable Care Act because it gives government too much involvement in the industry, therefore driving up costs and affecting the quality of the care, you are Republican, my friend.
Social Issues How do you feel about gay marriage and abortion? If you tend to be more progressive in your views, favoring abortion and gay marriage, you tested positive for Democrat. If you promote marriage between a man and a woman, are uncomfortable with same-sex couples, and oppose abortion, you tested positive for Republican.
Foreign Policy When you’re asking what political party am I, ask yourself where you stand on military involvement? Democrats favor more targeted strikes and limited use of manpower. Republicans favor full military efforts to displace regimes who are threatening others.
Crime and Capital Punishment What’s your stance on how citizens who have committed crimes should be punished? If you are Republican, you generally believe in harsher penalties (even for the sale of drugs) and favor capital punishment. If you tested positive for Democrat, you are more in favor of not using violence, lighter penalties and rehabilitation.