As much as I hate to admit it, I, too, want to be a bride. Even though I’m a career oriented and driven mujer, I want to put on that exquisite, long white dress and walk down the aisle. One thing I refuse to do, however, is settle. I always note warning signs that indicate my potential future husband should never become, well, my husband.
Let’s face it; not all men are husband material. Marriage is the real deal, not a fling. Marriage is a partnership based on commitment, trust, honesty, and…legalities. That’s why it’s important to be aware of these seven signs that you shouldn’t marry him.
1. HE’S A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR
Remember how I said marriage is based on trust and honesty? Well, you can’t have either if your partner is constantly lying. Whether it’s about his last relationship or the coworker who continuously texts him at midnight, a liar will continue to deceive. This is also a clear indication that he has little respect for you. And you can’t marry a man who doesn’t respect you.
2. ONCE A CHEATER…
To some women, infidelity is a deal breaker. To others, it is to be judged and decided upon case by case. Then again, if there are many incidents of cheating in your relationship, you have a problem. It goes back to respect, honesty, and trust. It’s not impossible, but it takes a certain type of woman to marry, accept, and trust someone who has cheated.
3. HE HATES YOUR CHILDREN
Your significant other cringes whenever he’s around your child. Or he screams bloody murder when Laura or Miguel touches his laptop or his new suede shoes. Eventually, you get the feeling that not only does he hate your children, but he also hates all children! This spells trouble. And a future divorce.
Read Related: Should You Stay or Should You Leave?
4. HE DOESN’T WANT CHILDREN BUT YOU DO
Some men like children but don’t want any of their own. If he doesn’t want children and you do, consider what this means for your future. Can you live without children? How badly do you want to be a mother? Though some men do change their minds, you shouldn’t go into a marriage betting on it.
5. DIFFERENCES UPON DIFFERENCES
He doesn’t want kids and you do (see above). You go to church every Sunday and he’s an atheist. He hates to travel and your passport is covered in stamps. You get the drift. Opposites may attract, but too many difference are detrimental.
6. THE GLARING SIGNS OF ABUSE
If a man is verbally, physically, or mentally abusive, he does not love or respect you. What he does, and not what he says, is what matters here. So, please leave any situation where your mental, emotional, and/or physical well-being is in danger. That also goes for the men who abuse their own bodies by using drugs or drinking too much.
7. YOU’RE UNHAPPY
Before tying the knot, you should be happy! Because a piece of paper and a ring on your wedding finger won’t change him or your relationship with him. Ask yourself: Does this man respect and love me? Does he listen to my needs, respond, and try to meet them? If you cannot find a single reason to smile when you think of your partner, or the bad outweighs the good, it’s time to find happiness elsewhere.
So, apply these tips into your current relationship and be truthful about who you are, what you need, and your partner. Don’t let the pressure of wanting to tie the knot weigh so heavily on your shoulders that you marry the wrong man.